Difficult Times

I can hardly believe it's been a whole week.  In some ways it has gone by so quickly and in others it feels more like a year than a week!  I have not created anything this week, not even a mess!  What's worse is, I have no notion to create at the moment but I really could do with the calmness that creativity brings.

The reason for this ...... ?  This is not easy for me to write, but I need to so I can keep a record of events somewhere that is readily accessible if I need it.  The past 2 weeks I have worked an extra day to write up some very long reports of meetings that took place while I was absent from work before Christmas.  My boss was involved in the meetings and she wrote up the changes that I need to type.  In the last week before the holidays I managed to produce 1 (out of a total of 12) that she was happy with.  I am being asked to change things 4 or 5 times and take out things she recently wanted added and vice versa.  It is not something I look forward to doing but it is part of my job.

Unfortunately this week she decided to give me back the one that had been completed previously, and which had already been sent out to parents etc, with 10 pages of changes!  I made it clear, in a polite way, that I was not happy.  Her reaction was such that I ended up in tears of anger and frustration.  What's worse is that all of this took place in front of other people.  I left the building shortly after, but I haven't quit, yet!

I did contact my HR department and have been advised to instigate an unfair treatment at work action against my Head teacher through my union rep.  I will contact the rep tomorrow after school to start the process.  In the meantime I have to continue working for my HT.  I don't want to be off but the stress I feel at the moment is awful, I feel constantly sick. 

To make matters worse, I will be the second person to have done something like this since school started back in August.  The other girl was lucky enough to be off ill during her action and was eventually transferred to another school.  I doubt I will be that lucky but I have to see this through.  I have lost all my confidence as a teacher from being constantly undermined and told that everything I do is wrong.  I am not the person I was.  I think what is making me so angry is thinking of all the sacrifices that I and my children made while I was training to be a teacher.  5 years of being skint and juggling being a single parent with all the medical and emotional difficulties of raising a child with Aspergers syndrome, and his 2 very understanding siblings.  I will not be driven out by this woman.

If I can get through the week ahead then hopefully I can get through the rest.  What the future holds I don't know, I feel as though my whole life is in limbo at the moment.  Gordon is away on a training course all this week, which in some ways may help.  All I have to think about is getting through each day.  Roll on the next holiday!  Take care and wish me luck! x x x